Horny
by Shanna1
Summary: The men of SG1 get stranded when a drink makes them libidinous.


Title: Horny  
  
Author: Shanna  
  
E-mail: shazbucket101@aol.com  
  
Rating: PG-13 There's nothing bad it's just a little suggestive.  
  
Archive: SJD  
  
Summary: The men of SG-1 get stranded when a drink makes them libidinous.  
  
Spoilers: None  
  
Feedback: Sure  
  
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the wonderful people who make the show.  
"Unscheduled incoming traveller." The tannoy burst into life.  
  
'What now?' General George Hammond thought as he made his way to the control room. It was 2330 and he was just about to go home.  
  
"Receiving SG-1's iris code." Lieutenant Simmons announced.  
  
"Open the iris." Hammond ordered. The iris whooshed open and Major Samantha Carter stepped through. The wormhole closed behind her.  
  
"Major, where are the rest of your team?"  
  
"They are safe sir, but I need to speak with you in your office." Sam said as she handed one of the SF's her P90.  
  
"Of course."  
  
~ ~  
  
"So Major where are Colonel O'Neill, Dr Jackson and Teal'c?"  
  
"Still on P5X 111 sir. There are no signs of the Goa'uld ever being there so they should be safe sir."  
  
"So why did you return?" Hammond sat in his desk chair.  
  
"General, I felt that my personal safety was in jeopardy."  
  
"So Colonel O'Neill sent you back?"  
  
"No sir, Colonel O'Neill doesn't know I've returned."  
  
"Why not? Abandonment is against regulations Major."  
  
"Sir my safety was in jeopardy from the other members of SG-1." Sam explained.  
  
"Would you care to explain why Major?" Hammond looked concerned.  
  
"Sir if I could start from our arrival on P5X 111 it would help explain my decision." Hammond nodded. "When we arrived we were greeted by the inhabitants, the Tangians. They were pleased to see us and invited us to join their festival of the full moon. Colonel O'Neill accepted not wanting to offend them. They spent the day showing us around. Just before sunset the men were segregated from the women, I had the chance to find out about what the ceremony involved. Basically at sunset the men are given a small drink on the first day of the full moon which increases their virility. Approximately twenty minutes after sunset begins the men become for the want of a better word libidinous. This lasts from sunset to sunrise for the three days of the full moon. During the daytime they return to normal. It's sort of their mating ritual, children conceived during the full moon are blessed. General, the rest of SG-1 drank this drink, I've spent the last ninety minutes hiding from them while they chased them. I finally managed to give them the slip long enough to get back through the gate. I brought all the GDO's with me."  
  
"Why Major what if they need to leave?"  
  
"Sir, according to Tilla, the woman who told me about the ritual, if they leave the planet they will become extremely ill and die within 24 hours. Leaving them behind was my only option."  
  
"That's all duly noted Major. You can lead a team through the gate in the morning to explain the situation to Colonel O'Neill."  
  
"General, I recommend and all female team sir, that way we won't risk anyone else being infected. We'd also have to leave well before sunset."  
  
"I agree with you Major. Contact all female SG team members currently on Earth."  
  
"General, I'd also recommend Dr Fraiser comes with us, she can take blood samples , maybe she can figure out why it's caused the change in hormone levels."  
  
"Agreed we'll bried at 0800. Dismissed."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
Sam, Janet and three other female SG team sat around the briefing room table. Captain Lara Carlston o f SG-8, Lieutenant Harriet Jenkins of SG-12 and Lieutenant Martha Simpson of SG-7." Sam briefed them on the situatuion and their mission objectives.  
  
"You'll ship out at 0930, get geared up. Dismissed."  
  
"General, I'd recommend that we try and contact Colonel O'Neill before we leave." Sam stated as the other women left to get their equipment. "He's going to be, let's just say less than happy, I left taking all the GDO's, the note I left was slightly cryptic."  
  
"You left a note? Is there anything else you neglected to tell me. I take it this note was cryptic enough a Goa'uld wouldn't understand it if they came through the gate."  
  
"It was cryptic enough and in Spanish. To the best of my knowledge there aren't any Goa'uld that speak Spanish. However Daniel does. The note basically told them to stay on the planet because it was dangerous for them to leave. I'd left and I'd taken all the GDO's and for them to wait for the SGC to contact them."  
  
"Get geared up and I'll contact Colonel O'Neill." Hammond conceded.  
  
~ ~  
  
"General, what the hell is going on. All our GDO's are gone, Carter's not here and we've got a message not to leave in Spanish of all languages."  
  
"Major Carter is fine. She's back at the SGC. She'll be coming through with the SG-F team in a few minutes. She'll explain everything to you then."  
  
"SG-F team?" Jack questioned.  
  
"One more thing Colonel, Major Carter is now in charge of this mission, she has my full authority to order you around."  
  
"General, what's going on?"  
  
"Major Carter will explain SGC out." Hammond looked down who was making a final check on the F.R.E.D "Major, are you ready?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"SG-F you have a go."  
  
"Move out." Sam ordered.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Carter, what the hell is going and why do you have an only female team?"  
  
"It's the SG-F team sir, less chance of infection. Before I explain anything else Dr Fraiser needs to take blood samples."  
  
"Can't we just go home and have them taken in the infirmary?" Jack asked.  
  
"You can't leave sir. Who wants to go first?" Janet asked.  
  
"Captain I want you to take Lieutenant Jenkins and Lieutenant Simpson and head for the village. " Sam instructed. "It's approximately one click in that direction. When you get there ask for Tilla, get her to give you a sample of the substance the men drank last night."  
  
"Yes ma'am." Captain Carlston replied.  
  
"Check in every 30 minutes with either myself or Dr Fraiser. According to Tilla the men should be back to normal, if they aren't you have permission to use Zats. No deadly force, Zat them and handcuff them and report in."  
  
"Yes ma'am. Lieutenants let's go."  
  
"So care to explain why you stranded us here Major and what the hell is the an SG-F team?" Jack asked.  
  
"The first all female team sir. General Hammond agreed with me when I suggest a female team." Sam explained.  
  
"And abandoning us which could be classified as a court martiable offence?"  
  
"General Hammond understands why I had to leave. And sir I took you all with me you would all be dead soon."  
  
"What? What the hell is going on?"  
  
"Sir that drink they gave you last night works with the moon to cause the men to become libidinous between sunset and sunrise for three days." Sam explained.  
  
"Libidinous?" Jack questioned.  
  
"Horny sir." Janet supplied.  
  
"Thank you Doctor." Jack scowled at her.  
  
"Yes sir." She went back to drawing blood from Daniel.  
  
"I had to leave sir, you were all chasing me around making suggestions, let's say your intentions were less than honourable. Actually they would probably have made a porn star blush. I left to protect myself, you would have ordered me to if you were in your right mind."  
  
"You're saying we were trying to." Daniel started.  
  
"Yes. You're all going to have to stay here for the next couple days. Apparently if you leave before the three days are up you get very sick and die within 24 hrs. As much as I hate leaving you here you all being dead seems a bit much."  
  
"Dr Fraiser should my symbiote not protect me from such things?" Teal'c asked.  
  
"Normally it would but from what Sam tells me your libido is susceptible as anyone else." Janet confirmed.  
  
"What exactly were we suggesting Major?" Jack asked.  
  
"Actually Daniel and Teal'c weren't too bad sir. You however, if you'd carried out some of your suggestions you may have injured yourself."  
  
"Been reading the Karma Sutra Jack?" Daniel joked.  
  
"So ma'am what would you like us to do? Since Hammond put you in charge of this mission." Jack asked shooting off a mock salut.  
  
"I guess what we normally do. Try and find out as much as about these people as possible. Daniel, we need to find out more about the ritual and the substance they gave you, take Teal'c with you."  
  
"Sure Sam. You done Janet?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Yes. Go and explore, but I need you back here by 1600 so I can sedate you." Daniel nodded and he and Teal'c headed for the village.  
  
"Sedatives? What the hell for?" Jack protested.  
  
"We thought it would be safer for you all if we put you somewhere safe and gave you a mild sedative. We don't want you to hurt anyone or yourselves." Janet explained.  
  
"And what do you want me to do Dorothy?" He asked aiming the question at Sam.  
  
"I need to run a few more tests on you. Since you like spending time in the infirmary and according to Sam you seemed worst affected by system. Either that or you have an extremely dirty mind sir. We brought a portable tent with us."  
  
"No way. You can run all the damn tests you like when we get back, no way I'm letting you do it on an alien planet."  
  
"Sir, I can make it an order." Sam smiled liking having that little bit of control over him. "And Dr Fraiser out ranks you on medical matters."  
  
"I knew there was a reason I didn't like scientists." Jack mumbled under his breath.  
  
"You keep telling yourself that sir every time we save your butt." Sam headed for the F.R.E.D and started up some equipment to monitor the air conditions.  
  
"So sir, can you help set up the tent, I'll go easy on you I promise. Only one more needle I promise before the sedative."  
  
"If you say so."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"So we'll be back tomorrow sir. Hopefully we'll have some answers for you. Have a good night guys."  
  
"Night Sam." Daniel called.  
  
"Goodnight Major Carter." Teal'c said.  
  
"Night Carter." Janet began admitting the sedatives.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"So what have you come up with?" Sam asked Janet.  
  
"They all have elevated testosterone levels. But apart from that I can't find anything different about their blood samples. From what I could tell Colonel O'Neill is in perfect health. So I really can't tell you anything. What about the sample?"  
  
"It has some similar properties to Viagra, but it must react with the moon to cause the reaction. I guess well know more when we go back tomorrow."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"So Major how are they coping?" General Hammond asked.  
  
"Daniel is learning more about their culture, Teal'c is watching over him and taking time to get in some extra Kel'noreeming. Colonel O'Neill on the other hand is bored. I took him some paperwork to do and his yo-yo but he was still bored."  
  
"Did he actually do any of the paperwork?"  
  
"All present and correct." Sam handed him a stack of files. "The tests we took didn't show anything conclusive. Dr Fraiser is completing a comparison of the blood test results as we speak. I still suggest we leave them their for another 48 hours just in case."  
  
"I agree with you. Take Colonel O'Neill his Game Boy it's in his desk drawer, it may keep him occupied."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"General Hammond thought you might like this." Sam pulled the Game Boy, a selection of games and a box of batteries.  
  
"Thank you." Jack took it and sat on a rock.  
  
"Wait a minute sir. Blood sample first, games later."  
  
"But Mom, I was a good boy, please don't make me see the doctor." Jack pleaded in a childish tone.  
  
"Be a good and let Janet take a blood sample Colonel otherwise we'll have to send you to help Daniel talk to the people."  
  
"I hope you brought small needles Doc."  
  
"That depends on how you behave Colonel."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Well done Major, you handled yourself and your team well this week. SG-1 you're all on downtime for the next week."  
  
"General, I'd like to keep Colonel O'Neill, Daniel and Teal'c in the infirmary overnight just to make sure there are not residual effects." Janet added.  
  
"Of course. Colonel, Dr Jackson and Teal'c report to the infirmary. Major Carter enjoy your downtime."  
  
"Thank you sir. I'll have that report ready by Monday morning."  
  
"Good. Dismissed."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Ding Dong.  
  
"Hi." Sam smiled as she opened the door. "I thought you were supposed to be in the infirmary over night."  
  
"I had things to do." Jack stepped kissing her frantically and pushing her against the wall, kicking the door closed behind him.  
  
"So did you planning on making good on all your suggestions Jack?"  
  
"I don't remember most of them, but I can give it a try."  
  
"Don't worry I've got a very good memory." 


End file.
